This kind of James Bond website…
by Everyone (30 June 2004)
So we reopened the GGC forumsover a year agoand thought,“Hmm, now that we have a forum, we should do one of those collaborative story threads that are kind of fun.”. Unable to foresee what we would be getting ourselves into, Pstonie went ahead and gave birth to Fjoinky (it wasn’t a pretty sight).
The basic concept is simple – somebody starts a thread with the first paragraph of a story and then all the others continue the story, one post at a time. And eventually we put some of them up on the site.
The Unbelievable Adventures of Fjoinky Number Two
Chronicling the adventures of Fjoinky (Originally known as Fjoinky #2, apparently) and his drooling side-kick, Dougie, in their epic quest for…. nothing in particular. Together they journeyed through different mind-boggling locations (involving Vice City and a recurring hospital) and met a plethora of odd characters, including possibly-omnipotent maintenance personnel, an old man with an underwear hat, a toight-looking lifeguard and a Tommy Vercetti. All in all, something that should not, under any circumstances, never, ever, be made a sequel, of.
Fjoinky’s Adventures In Space
That sequel was, of course, made. Taking place four years (and occasionally a century or two) after the events of the first story, this one involves a rather twisted version of the crew from Star Trek: The Next Generation (something previously entirely unheard of at GGC). With Fjoinky’s intervention, an alien fleet is fought off, interesting facts about the future of Japan are discovered, weird Cuban guys obsessed with cojones are met and many jokes about boinking are made, all while pursuing one of the greatest of treasures known to man – boobs.
Return to Vice
Realising that we were better off writing stories in a GTA reality rather than sci-fi, the third story returns to the awkward fake Vice City atmosphere established in the first story and the Sexually Retarded Duo (AKA Fjoinky and Dougie) are reunited with Tommy. The highlights of this particular episode of the more-than-three-part-trilogy include a race against time as the guys attempt to find a piece of lost facial hair before it’s too late, a Japanese guy with funky inventions and transformation capabilities, the death of Spider-Man, lots of boob-jokes and the single most devastatingly violent and overly dramatic car chase of the new century. Also, in the end, they die.
Kicking continuity in the nutsch, Fjoinky and Dougie return in the fourth installment in the series, which isn’t quite done yet. Which means that everybody, including you (but not that ugly Danish kid behind you), are welcome to contribute to it. Most likely by going here
As impossible as it may sound, we did, eventually, manage to overlook our illusions of Fjoinky being a feasible trademark character with lots of potential for expansion and considered alternate themes for a collaborative story.
Capture the Flag
The first deviating story took place at the Carcer City Institute for The Mentally Nuts and introduced the extraordinarily innovative first-person point-of-view to the world of GGC’s stories. Whether intentionally or by accident, the story appears to be a spoof of something like “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” – basically a bunch of nutters at a nuthouse, having nutty adventures and drinking a bit nutty coffee. For reasons beyond our comprehension, the story still hasn’t ended and, as a result of direct Swedish intervention, seems to be back in the proverbial action. It can be read and contributed to by going here
The Sevenfold Conspiracy
During a long period of dormancy that occurred in the process of writing “Capture the Flag”, Justas thought it might be cool to convert GGC’s #1 future prediction (“Google and Japan shall take over the world in a very rather groovy way”) into a collaboratively-written story. But it didn’t quite work. So, even though the story is by now officially finished, we thought we wouldn’t put it up on the site. Still, should one be interested in reading it, here’s the link