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People who are "The Man"
# Here comes the man, holds out his hand, he's looking strangely at me...
The world is full of millions of wonderful people. Sadly, most of these people aren't quite very wonderful at all, not in any way whatsoever, at all, neither, as well. However, despite the existence of concepts such as "Denmark" and "Gareth", there are some people who stand out from all the others in such a spectacular way that they may more often than not be referred to as "The Man!".
Over here, at GGC, we have taken up ons the tedious and entirely unconstructive task of listing such The Mans*. For convenience (and in order to prevent any inter-GGC murders resulting from heated debates on who among all the The Mans is THE Man), they shall be listed alphabeticajilible: (except for Patrick Stewart, who just happens to be THE Man among all The Mans)
* - Yes, there are (as of yet) no women in this list. It's not because we're gay or anything. We're just so batshit-fucking-shallow that we can only appreciate extraordinarily hot women, who are all actually way cooler than any of these men, so they've been left out to give these guys a chance.
Could he by any means be any more awesome than what The Clip would make him seem to be? Recent studies conducted in Japan say 'Hai!' (that means 'yes', you filthy gaijin).
Not only is he the best actor of all time, but he is also the best starship captain ever as Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise. Is also believed to have assisted this 'God' fellow in inventing new stuff for this 'universe' thing. His most popular creations so far include 'boobs', 'nachos' and the aforementioned 'Japan'.
None whatsoever, at all.
Quote: "It is what you do from now on that will either move our civilisation forward a few tiny steps, or else... begin to march us steadily backward."
Fighting the undead with a shotgun in one hand and a chainsaw on the other, this guy kicks ass back to the dimension it came from. Cons:
Needs more zombies. Quote: "Name's Ash. *cocks shotgun* Housewares."
The ultimate, iconical petrolhead and co-host of the greatest motoring show of all time, Top Gear, Jeremy Clarkson spends his time doing powerslides, races, and other manuevres in top end sports cars. Basically, he has the best job on the planet.
He sometimes, not often, but sometimes says things that are not so funny.
Quote: "If this were America, it would be full of people doing... whatever it is they do. Incest, mostly, I think."
More Bond than James Bond himself. And poshibly imitated more often.
Quote: "I like women. I don't understand them, but I like them."
Funniest man (or male lesbian) on Earth. The inspiration for roughly 78% of all GGC's in-jokes. Does cool impressions, like Connery, James Mason (whom GGC didn't really know anything about before) and a very quotable Walken at the end of Sexie.
He hasn't made any new stand-up shows since 2003, and his movie appearances haven't really been all that.
GGC demands new material!
Quote: "'Jellyfish? Then where are the tentacles?" "Probably burned up on re-entry..."
Motherfuckin' Samuel L. Jackson on the Motherfuckin' The Mans page. Not only the coolest character in Pulp Fiction, but also had a custom-built purple light saber made for his role in Star Wars, and voiced Officer Tenpenny in GTA: San Andreas. Basically, if you see him in a movie chances are good something cool is going to happen. He's kicked more ass than you've sat on.
Fun fact: The L is for Leroy.
Quote: "I've had it with these motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane!"
Author of Beavis and Butt-Head, King of the Hill, Office Space and the new Idiocracy (which at the time of writing noone in GGC had seen). In short: Eyyyy!
He doesn't make enough movies, or any more Beavis and Butt-Head.
Quote: "Beavis goes in and does his thing and he comes out and it's like, 'And where's your container?' And he says, 'Oh, we were supposed to use a container?' He figured he was just going to go in there and and get paid for it."
The funniest guy on Whose Line Is It Anyway? and star in various Animutations as the infamous yellow sun face.
He's Canadian, and that's against the rules.
Quote: "I haven't seen that much crap since I filmed that horse laxative commercial!"
First he came up with and acted in the Wayne's World movies. And then he did the same with the Austin Powers series. These movies make up for an additional 65% of all GGC's in-jokes, in a manner that defies the laws of mathematics.
When not busy with the awesome stuff, he does crappy indie movies.
Quote: "Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?"
He made "Kung Pow", "Nothing to Lose" and "Bruce Almighty", not to mention acting in the first two.
He also made "The Nutty Professor", which inspired Olzen to make some stupid fart jokes once.
Quote: "I implore you to reconsider."
Aside from being a brilliant actor and starring in some of the best movies ever, he can do spot-on impersonations of just about anyone, especially Al Pacino.
Oh, very clever.
Quote: "I'm not handsome in the classical sense. The eyes droop, the mouth is crooked, the teeth aren't straight, the voice sounds like a Mafioso pallbearer, but somehow it all works."
He also plays in movies like "Spy Kids". Bleagh.
Quote: "Show me you got some big cojones!"