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Dr. Jeff answers your IT questions

by Pstonie (22 September 2006)

After we posted Dr. Jeff's answers here, he expressed his desire to do more of these questions and told us that he liked sticking it to the man, whatever that means. So, I thought that Dr. Jeff would be a good enough specialist to answer some random IT-related questions. I selected questions that many people asked, or ones that could be of use to a lot of people. Here we go, Dr. Jeff #2:

Hi,

I would like to find out what I could use as a good password on my accounts. Something that I can remember and something that's secure at the same time. What would you suggest?

Thanks,
Andrew

Dr. Jeff sez:

Andrew,

When people ask me this question, I delight in suggesting they don't use something like their mother's maiden name. This is something that's suggested by a lot of other institutions and would be guessed easily. So, I would rather suggest something like you mother's highschool nickname. I'd imagine it'd be something like 'easylegs' or 'spunk queen' in your case.

In case you're wondering about a good secret question if you forget what a slut you mom was (and likely still is), I suggest you mail me about this type of shit again, in which case the question would be "What's up my ass" and the answer would be "Dr. Jeff's foot".

yoz!

i instald the neww winamp cleint and noow my Eminenem songz wonts play yo.. WTf???

much thugz luv
pimpin stephen

Dr. Jeff sez:

I suggest you watch it with that language, homie. Someone might mistake you for someone important and empty a gat in yo ass like we in the ghetto.

It also serves your little cracker ass right for listening to that junk. Eminem ain't nothing but a white boy who think he the dog. This is a sign from 2Pac, probably. I suggest you hit up some X and the Luda and your WA will soon come from its depression.

Hello!

Someone please help! I have a problem sending emails and can't send any!!!!!!!

Love,
Elizabeth

Dr. Jeff sez:

Bitch, you be trippin'.

PS: Got any plans Friday night?

Hey,

This is Trevor, I'd like some advice of what styls to use in m y myspace page. I see a lot of other cool designs but dont have any ideas lol!

plz help
Trevor
(Trevor)

Dr. Jeff sez:

Trevor,

Yeah, I got some advice for customising your silly-ass MySpace page: Don't. And if you're registered at MySpace because you just thought it was such a great idea, I strongly suggest you don't breed either.

Fool.

Ive been getting a lotta mails about penis enlargemensts but i don't need it!!! I have a hu.uge cocka nad I dont need these pills. Plz tell me what I can do to make them stop sending.

Attachment: picture_of_my_cock.jpg

Dr. Jeff sez:

Retard,

I used to think that spam was random, until I saw that little image you attached there. Don't fight spam, man. In your case it seems like a good investment. Go ahead and ask them to send you more files from competing brands as well.

Word out.

Hej!

I'm having troubles with my word processing applicatjion called 'cmd'. Every time I tell it a story it says bad command or file name. And I'm trying to write a musical here!!! It's really good!

Yay!

Dr. Jeff sez:

Let me tell you, young man. I've been working in the IT industry for about an hour now and I have no idea what the hell you talkin' 'bout.

I suggest you focus on something else, like your collection of classic music, featuring the Backstreet Boys - The wonder years.

By that I mean to say that yo ass is gay, homie.

Aight.